PART I CHAPTER 1 I didn’t even know I was dead. It felt sudden and quick—probably hit by a truck or something. Pretty standard as far as deaths go. I figured that was it, the end. Unfortunately for me, a new job opened up upon my passing, and I woke up as Death incarnate. Or colloquially, the Grim Reaper. Sucks, right? No training, other than those useless onboarding videos. Oh, and the sudden realization that I would have to watch everyone I know and love pass away. That was hard. The infinite knowledge of all existence was tough to swallow, too. It was all a bit overwhelming. Other than that, it’s a job. Since I no longer have my mortal coil, I don't need to sleep. Or eat. Or anything, really. I am the optimal employee, considering it’s now been so long that I don’t remember any of my hopes and dreams, wants, needs, name, bank information, or my sexual preferences. I’m never late, because, well, I only had to clock in once. That was as soon as I died. I was late for that, thoug...